Hungary IV: Köln-Pécs and back - July 1999
I received a call from ‘Doctor I’ in Pécs, who informed me that they had a break in a water pipe on the floor above the room where I had set up the computer. The water had ‘rained down’ on said computer with the consequence that the monitor had gone ‘buff’ when switched on and that was that. A blank screen and no substitute this side of the wherever therefore please send a new one or come and repair it or bring a new one whatever but pronto as we have patient data that has to be entered..
I was given the go ahead from Vienna and started to plan the campaign. We had spare monitors and computers so that was not the problem, but we still had a bigger ‘problem’ and that would be the formalities stipulated from Customs and Excises (C&E).
First a little background to C&E before I go on. It will show that this trip was not so straightforward as one would think. For any goods that are imported into another country there’s tax duty, this is okay, most countries do it. It gets more complicated when you want to take goods into a foreign country (export) leaving them there awhile and then taking them back again (import) and pay no duties in either direction. In other words one ‘lends’ the equipment to a ‘country’ and then takes the equipment back. Perfectly legal as long as you do your paperwork along the way. This is what we were doing with the computers for the studies placed in Poland, Hungary and the Czech Republic.
Here the paperwork has to be all nice and tidy and is organised using a Carnet.
The problem was that the details of the computers are documented on the Carnet, not just the company and model but also the individual serial numbers of each major component. That is for each computer and monitor but also for the barcode reader that the sites needed for reading in sample data. The serial numbers for keyboards and mice where exempt from this procedure. This means the goods are shipped together as one unit and they must leave together as one unit. No changes are allowed to the content of the unit while under the control of the caret! But this is exactly what we wanted to do. We wanted to swap one component of the unit – the defective monitor.
So to strategy. We had only a few options. One was round up the computers, ship them back to Cologne and then ship them back to Hungary with a new monitor.
This was just not on.
Far to complicated as to the study had already begun. Also extremely time wasting and without contemplating about the cost. In later studies we did it differently by shipping extra computers in the ‘unit’ in case of fallouts.
We decided to create a new Caret for a new computer and monitor and drive it all the way to Pecs. Then swap the monitor and return with the computer and defective monitor [Ed: Yes, he knows about the serial number problem – he'll get to that later].
First we obtained a Caret for a new computer and monitor. If we were asked for the purpose of our visit, we would say we were going to demonstrate our software at a meeting in Pecs and for this we needed to take some hardware with us – all correct and above board. Well sort off.
I checked the distance. It was about 3200 km for the round trip. I didn’t fancy the driving - not alone anyway - so I asked a friend who looks after our hardware at work if he would be willing to come along for the ride so to speak. JD had time and in end effect he drove the complete round trip. Which was ok with me as I don’t really like driving anyway (see Driving: On the road again)
So it was time to hire a car.
We went to an international car rental (Sixt) and the dialogue went something like this.
“Morning, we would like to hire a car please.”
“Ok, we have a wide selection, what type?”
The man pointed to a parking lot with about 30 to 40 cars in all shapes and sizes.
“An estate would be nice as we need to transport computers.”
“All right, no problem. Any particular preference of make, petrol or diesel? "
”Not really, what do you recommend?”
This went on for some time and we had the choice in the end of about 8-10 different cars. Price wasn’t really a selection criteria as Vienna was paying. We agreed on a Mercedes Benz C-Class Estate with all mod cons, if we were going to spend so much time on the road why not in comfort.
And then the fatal question came that changed everything.
”So to the paperwork, where will you be driving?.”
”Hungary.”
I felt the wind change direction and it was cooler.
”Hungary! ”
”Yes, Hungary, is that a problem? ”
Couldn’t think why, but by the look on his face there was one. After the obligatory pregnant pause, there appeared a nervous twitch in one eye. [Ed: Just like Chief Inspector Dreyfus (played by Herbert Lom) in the Pink Panther films]. He spun around and pointed to a ‘car’ in a corner of the lot that I hadn’t taken in. In a somewhat croaky voice, what seemed to be turning into a bout of coughing, all that came out was
”That’s the only one available I’m afraid.”
We went over to take a look. It was not at all what we expected. It had seen its best years decades ago! We were slightly perplexed and then it came out. The cars that go to places like Hungary and Poland don’t usually come out again. Anyway not the ‘posh’ ones, and therefore the choice is restricted to cars which are not on the ‘hit lists’ of said countries. The man assured us that the car would get us there and back in one piece, we on the other hand were sceptical, but had no choice other than to take it.
During formalities, I asked him about the ‘Sixt’ in the number plates on Hungarian cars which had interested me since Hungary I. It seems that this ‘code’ identifies - to certain people - that the car is part of a Hungarian economical enterprise and a sort of codex would be broken if the car was ‘relocated’ without the owners acknowledgement. I’m still a little sceptical if this is true, most probably its just advertisement.
So we had a sort of car, next step was to go to the C&E to get a ‘stamp’ on the Caret for the first hurdle - the Austrian-Hungarian border. We packed and drove. The idea was to drive to Szombathely via Vienna stay overnight in the ‘Riff-Raff’ hotel (see Hungary II). I was wondering if JD would find the place just as weird as I had. We would then drive on to Pecs exchange the monitors and stay over night in the same local hotel I had last time. Then the next morning start the long haul back.
Up to the Austrian border the trip was uneventful. It was getting late and twilight had set in. The Austrian customs people were friendly and formalities quickly carried out. That is, the second layer of the Carnet was stamped after they looked at the first layer to see if the stamp from the C&E in Cologne was correct. We then drove on for about five minutes and got to wondering if that was all? Wasn’t there suppose to be the Hungarian equivalent border control? Usually they are within hailing distance of each at other.
We drove on through a forest with no other traffic insight then a bend and a clearing. What we saw in the fading light looked like a run down / desolated petrol station without the pumps. To one side a barrack like building with the only signs of life in that there was lights on inside. We parked next to the pumpless station and JD got out and with the paperwork went off in the direction of the lights.
It was a warm quiet evening and so I had my window turned down. I was looking at the map to see how far we had to go. As we were booked in at Riff-Raffs hotel and I was hoping we wouldn’t turn up late with the doors locked. Also I was wondering if we would be the only ones in the restaurant that night.
I was suddenly brought out of my reverie by a pointed metal object thrust half way through the window and burst of noise sounding like it came from a human throat. Now I have never been interested in weapons. When I was a kid Dad brought me a BB airgun back from a trip to the US which when bored I used to destroy my old Revell plastic model construction kits. Also for the life of me I don’t know why but I had as a kid a model of a German Luger that fired caps. So apart from those two weapons of mass destruction I had up to that time no real idea - by the little light that was left - what was pointing at my crouch.
I looked up and out of the car window and registered that the pointed object had:
I eventually found my voice, after dragging it out from under the seat where it had been hiding. I stuttered, yes for the first time in my life I stuttered. What, I can’t remember for the life of me. Well what ever it was, it was defiantly incomprehensible for both of us different languages apart.
I do remember pointing towards the lights in the barracks.
What happen next wasn’t really that spectacular it was more of a cliché from a Len Deighton spy film. She backed up and gestured at me with a sweeping movement of the weapon. I got out of the car and started to walk in the direction the barracks. The mime had been self evident. She shouldered the Kalashnikov and walked beside me, which brought my panic level down a few notches and I could shelf the Harry Palmer cockney accent which I was rehearsing in my head. Her uniform was similar to the one in the picture right; it seems she was a lieutenant.
We marched – sorry- walked into the barrack / customs house, JD was sitting on a bench oblivious to what had happened at the car and was mildly surprised at what I had in tow. Another burst of Hungarian static, this time between the uniformed man behind the counter and my female accompaniment. I joined JD on the bench; it felt like I was back at school and in detention. JD brought me up to date.
There was good news. The paperwork seemed to be in order. And there was not so good news. The ‘man behind the counter’ had, since stamping the Caret, been browsing back and forth through a large book type ledger trying to ascertain how much we had to pay in duties.
The man looked up at JD ignoring me altogether, and said
“számítógép?”
JD immediately echoed with what sounded to my ears like perfect static Hungarian
“igen! számítógép”.
I looked at him with astonishment on my face, JD reading my mind said ‘no’ he couldn’t speak Hungarian it was just that the ‘man behind the counter’ had every minute of so asked the same question and being polite had replied adding a yes and nod for good measure. The first time JD hadn’t understood anything. Luckily a Hungarian-German dictionary was at hand which the ‘man behind the counter’ used to look up his ‘static burst’ and showed the entry to him.
It turned out to be ‘computer’ which showed that he was on the right track, which was better than paying duties on a washing machine or the like. The ritual was again repeated, and so not to be left out I jointed in with at least with 'igen!' which I knew was ‘yes’. I also added a nod for good measure in sync with my companion on the detention bank.
It was now dark outside and I was getting again a little nervous as I could not remember if I had locked the car. This was probably due to all the weapon waving. Also I was wondering if this was a game, a C&E “let them wait and stew a bit because I’m bored” route. for a real 'let them wait and stew' routine see Checkpoint Charlie.
Eventually ‘the man behind the counter’ looked up. Without the 'számítógép?' this time, just a big grin. Which we took as the Hungarian equivalent of Eureka. He waved us over and showed us an unreadable entry in the ledger. Then completed a form in triplet added the amount to pay and placed it in front of us.
Up to this point I hadn’t thought about having to pay anything! My panic level went up and I hoped we would had enough Forints with us. After calculating the amount in German Marks I realised it was low, almost nothing. I paid and we left.
All together we were there about an hour.
It felt like ages.
Although it was getting late, we arrived in Szombathely early enough to have dinner. Riff-Raff was not sighted. Next morning we drove the same route to Pecs as I had in 'Hungary I' but this time without any 'detours' along the way. Following introductions and tails of woe on arriving at the clinic, we inspected the room where the computer had stood.
Since the call of help everything was relatively dry but there was evidence of the waterfall with stains on the walls and ceiling. We checked the computer with the monitor we had bought with us and it booted. The original monitor on the other hand was as suspected damp and dead.
Now the problem.
We couldn’t just swap the monitors and make our way back home. The codes on the Canets would not match:
We stayed overnight in the same hotel as I had in Hungary III and retraced our route the next day. No hitch at the Hungarian-Austrian border as they had recognised us. We paid again our so-called duties and had the next layer of the caret stamped. There was a long and uneventful drive back. We returned to the C&E in Cologne and acquired the last stamp on the last page of our caret.
Mission accomplished.
[Ed: Continued here in Hungary V: ].
I was given the go ahead from Vienna and started to plan the campaign. We had spare monitors and computers so that was not the problem, but we still had a bigger ‘problem’ and that would be the formalities stipulated from Customs and Excises (C&E).
First a little background to C&E before I go on. It will show that this trip was not so straightforward as one would think. For any goods that are imported into another country there’s tax duty, this is okay, most countries do it. It gets more complicated when you want to take goods into a foreign country (export) leaving them there awhile and then taking them back again (import) and pay no duties in either direction. In other words one ‘lends’ the equipment to a ‘country’ and then takes the equipment back. Perfectly legal as long as you do your paperwork along the way. This is what we were doing with the computers for the studies placed in Poland, Hungary and the Czech Republic.
Here the paperwork has to be all nice and tidy and is organised using a Carnet.
[Ed: An ATA Carnet is the simplest duty-free and tax-free method of exporting goods on a temporary basis. Carnets are like 'passports for goods' replacing the need for usual customs documentation].
The ones we used had a different colour for each stage of the transport ‘into’ and ‘out of’ the target country. Carnets can be used for individual goods as well as for a batch of goods. For the Hungarian study we had one Carnet for the three computers (Szombathely, Pécs and one for the CRO in Budapest).The problem was that the details of the computers are documented on the Carnet, not just the company and model but also the individual serial numbers of each major component. That is for each computer and monitor but also for the barcode reader that the sites needed for reading in sample data. The serial numbers for keyboards and mice where exempt from this procedure. This means the goods are shipped together as one unit and they must leave together as one unit. No changes are allowed to the content of the unit while under the control of the caret! But this is exactly what we wanted to do. We wanted to swap one component of the unit – the defective monitor.
So to strategy. We had only a few options. One was round up the computers, ship them back to Cologne and then ship them back to Hungary with a new monitor.
This was just not on.
Far to complicated as to the study had already begun. Also extremely time wasting and without contemplating about the cost. In later studies we did it differently by shipping extra computers in the ‘unit’ in case of fallouts.
We decided to create a new Caret for a new computer and monitor and drive it all the way to Pecs. Then swap the monitor and return with the computer and defective monitor [Ed: Yes, he knows about the serial number problem – he'll get to that later].
First we obtained a Caret for a new computer and monitor. If we were asked for the purpose of our visit, we would say we were going to demonstrate our software at a meeting in Pecs and for this we needed to take some hardware with us – all correct and above board. Well sort off.
I checked the distance. It was about 3200 km for the round trip. I didn’t fancy the driving - not alone anyway - so I asked a friend who looks after our hardware at work if he would be willing to come along for the ride so to speak. JD had time and in end effect he drove the complete round trip. Which was ok with me as I don’t really like driving anyway (see Driving: On the road again)
So it was time to hire a car.
We went to an international car rental (Sixt) and the dialogue went something like this.
“Morning, we would like to hire a car please.”
“Ok, we have a wide selection, what type?”
The man pointed to a parking lot with about 30 to 40 cars in all shapes and sizes.
“An estate would be nice as we need to transport computers.”
“All right, no problem. Any particular preference of make, petrol or diesel? "
”Not really, what do you recommend?”
This went on for some time and we had the choice in the end of about 8-10 different cars. Price wasn’t really a selection criteria as Vienna was paying. We agreed on a Mercedes Benz C-Class Estate with all mod cons, if we were going to spend so much time on the road why not in comfort.
And then the fatal question came that changed everything.
”So to the paperwork, where will you be driving?.”
”Hungary.”
I felt the wind change direction and it was cooler.
”Hungary! ”
”Yes, Hungary, is that a problem? ”
Couldn’t think why, but by the look on his face there was one. After the obligatory pregnant pause, there appeared a nervous twitch in one eye. [Ed: Just like Chief Inspector Dreyfus (played by Herbert Lom) in the Pink Panther films]. He spun around and pointed to a ‘car’ in a corner of the lot that I hadn’t taken in. In a somewhat croaky voice, what seemed to be turning into a bout of coughing, all that came out was
”That’s the only one available I’m afraid.”
We went over to take a look. It was not at all what we expected. It had seen its best years decades ago! We were slightly perplexed and then it came out. The cars that go to places like Hungary and Poland don’t usually come out again. Anyway not the ‘posh’ ones, and therefore the choice is restricted to cars which are not on the ‘hit lists’ of said countries. The man assured us that the car would get us there and back in one piece, we on the other hand were sceptical, but had no choice other than to take it.
During formalities, I asked him about the ‘Sixt’ in the number plates on Hungarian cars which had interested me since Hungary I. It seems that this ‘code’ identifies - to certain people - that the car is part of a Hungarian economical enterprise and a sort of codex would be broken if the car was ‘relocated’ without the owners acknowledgement. I’m still a little sceptical if this is true, most probably its just advertisement.
So we had a sort of car, next step was to go to the C&E to get a ‘stamp’ on the Caret for the first hurdle - the Austrian-Hungarian border. We packed and drove. The idea was to drive to Szombathely via Vienna stay overnight in the ‘Riff-Raff’ hotel (see Hungary II). I was wondering if JD would find the place just as weird as I had. We would then drive on to Pecs exchange the monitors and stay over night in the same local hotel I had last time. Then the next morning start the long haul back.
Up to the Austrian border the trip was uneventful. It was getting late and twilight had set in. The Austrian customs people were friendly and formalities quickly carried out. That is, the second layer of the Carnet was stamped after they looked at the first layer to see if the stamp from the C&E in Cologne was correct. We then drove on for about five minutes and got to wondering if that was all? Wasn’t there suppose to be the Hungarian equivalent border control? Usually they are within hailing distance of each at other.
We drove on through a forest with no other traffic insight then a bend and a clearing. What we saw in the fading light looked like a run down / desolated petrol station without the pumps. To one side a barrack like building with the only signs of life in that there was lights on inside. We parked next to the pumpless station and JD got out and with the paperwork went off in the direction of the lights.
It was a warm quiet evening and so I had my window turned down. I was looking at the map to see how far we had to go. As we were booked in at Riff-Raffs hotel and I was hoping we wouldn’t turn up late with the doors locked. Also I was wondering if we would be the only ones in the restaurant that night.
I was suddenly brought out of my reverie by a pointed metal object thrust half way through the window and burst of noise sounding like it came from a human throat. Now I have never been interested in weapons. When I was a kid Dad brought me a BB airgun back from a trip to the US which when bored I used to destroy my old Revell plastic model construction kits. Also for the life of me I don’t know why but I had as a kid a model of a German Luger that fired caps. So apart from those two weapons of mass destruction I had up to that time no real idea - by the little light that was left - what was pointing at my crouch.
I looked up and out of the car window and registered that the pointed object had:
- An arm/shoulder rest,
- A flattish curved oblong protruding from the bottom which looked uncanny like a magazine,
- A trigger with a finger on it and what the rest of the finger was attached too,
- A young woman in a military uniform.
I eventually found my voice, after dragging it out from under the seat where it had been hiding. I stuttered, yes for the first time in my life I stuttered. What, I can’t remember for the life of me. Well what ever it was, it was defiantly incomprehensible for both of us different languages apart.I do remember pointing towards the lights in the barracks.
What happen next wasn’t really that spectacular it was more of a cliché from a Len Deighton spy film. She backed up and gestured at me with a sweeping movement of the weapon. I got out of the car and started to walk in the direction the barracks. The mime had been self evident. She shouldered the Kalashnikov and walked beside me, which brought my panic level down a few notches and I could shelf the Harry Palmer cockney accent which I was rehearsing in my head. Her uniform was similar to the one in the picture right; it seems she was a lieutenant.We marched – sorry- walked into the barrack / customs house, JD was sitting on a bench oblivious to what had happened at the car and was mildly surprised at what I had in tow. Another burst of Hungarian static, this time between the uniformed man behind the counter and my female accompaniment. I joined JD on the bench; it felt like I was back at school and in detention. JD brought me up to date.
There was good news. The paperwork seemed to be in order. And there was not so good news. The ‘man behind the counter’ had, since stamping the Caret, been browsing back and forth through a large book type ledger trying to ascertain how much we had to pay in duties.
The man looked up at JD ignoring me altogether, and said
“számítógép?”
JD immediately echoed with what sounded to my ears like perfect static Hungarian
“igen! számítógép”.
I looked at him with astonishment on my face, JD reading my mind said ‘no’ he couldn’t speak Hungarian it was just that the ‘man behind the counter’ had every minute of so asked the same question and being polite had replied adding a yes and nod for good measure. The first time JD hadn’t understood anything. Luckily a Hungarian-German dictionary was at hand which the ‘man behind the counter’ used to look up his ‘static burst’ and showed the entry to him.
It turned out to be ‘computer’ which showed that he was on the right track, which was better than paying duties on a washing machine or the like. The ritual was again repeated, and so not to be left out I jointed in with at least with 'igen!' which I knew was ‘yes’. I also added a nod for good measure in sync with my companion on the detention bank.
It was now dark outside and I was getting again a little nervous as I could not remember if I had locked the car. This was probably due to all the weapon waving. Also I was wondering if this was a game, a C&E “let them wait and stew a bit because I’m bored” route. for a real 'let them wait and stew' routine see Checkpoint Charlie.
Eventually ‘the man behind the counter’ looked up. Without the 'számítógép?' this time, just a big grin. Which we took as the Hungarian equivalent of Eureka. He waved us over and showed us an unreadable entry in the ledger. Then completed a form in triplet added the amount to pay and placed it in front of us.
Up to this point I hadn’t thought about having to pay anything! My panic level went up and I hoped we would had enough Forints with us. After calculating the amount in German Marks I realised it was low, almost nothing. I paid and we left.
All together we were there about an hour.
It felt like ages.
Although it was getting late, we arrived in Szombathely early enough to have dinner. Riff-Raff was not sighted. Next morning we drove the same route to Pecs as I had in 'Hungary I' but this time without any 'detours' along the way. Following introductions and tails of woe on arriving at the clinic, we inspected the room where the computer had stood.
Since the call of help everything was relatively dry but there was evidence of the waterfall with stains on the walls and ceiling. We checked the computer with the monitor we had bought with us and it booted. The original monitor on the other hand was as suspected damp and dead.
Now the problem.
We couldn’t just swap the monitors and make our way back home. The codes on the Canets would not match:
- when we turned up at the border with the Kalashnikov swinging lieutenant in the course of our homeward journey, and
- when the computers where rounded up on my next trip and shipped back from Budapest.
We stayed overnight in the same hotel as I had in Hungary III and retraced our route the next day. No hitch at the Hungarian-Austrian border as they had recognised us. We paid again our so-called duties and had the next layer of the caret stamped. There was a long and uneventful drive back. We returned to the C&E in Cologne and acquired the last stamp on the last page of our caret.
Mission accomplished.
[Ed: Continued here in Hungary V: ].
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